December 17

Today is Peniel's birthday. Peniel is one the first kids my family fostered along with his little brother, Jeremiah. I mention them in some previous posts but just in case anyone forgot or just didn't know. I'll most likely mention them a lot in future posts. I love both of them like they're my blood brothers. We had the best times ever and through it all I never even thought about their skin being a different color. My step mom and I always talk about how they didn't seem any different color to us cause we loved them unconditionally. Even if we didn't love them, they'd be the same to us.
On Peniel's birthday last year he turned 8. He chose for us to go out to eat at Ryan's. He got to open a bunch of presents there and I took a lot of pictures. You could tell he was trying to keep his cool but he was excited about all the cool stuff he was getting. After he'd open a gift he'd put on a shy smile and someone would say something and he'd let out his true million dollar smile and giggle. He always had the best laugh, everyone agreed on that too!
Today Peniel turns 9 and I'm sure he is still just as adorable as the last time I saw him. The first time I met him and his brother I knew they'd be heart breakers when they got older and I still believe that. They both have a smile from heaven and laughs that can melt anyone's heart. They are outgoing and funny, they could make anyone laugh. Anyone who ever meets them is instantly in love with them.
I promised Peniel when I can get my license I would come see him. I promised that the last time I saw him and I honestly can't remember the last time I saw him. I only have atleast five more months till I can drive myself to see him. I always worry that when I see him again our bond won't be the same but then I think on it and remember he loved me just as much as I loved him, there's no way he'd reject me. Our bond was made by God and is as strong as it can get, no matter how far apart we are so however long.

WHY ARE YOU YELLING AT ME?!?!

This week the drama classes at my high school had their Christmas play or plays. It was three little plays put into one. It just so happened one of my best friends was is in drama so I just had to go to support her. It was on Friday and Saturday night. My boyfriend, Seth and I had planned to go on Friday. I went ahead and bought a Friday ticket just to find out he couldn't go. I still went though on Friday but I also went on Saturday with Seth. Friday I sat with Andrea's mom and little brother. Andrea is my friend in the play and let me add she did a great job! She is actually inspiring me to do drama my junior year! Anyway, since I sat with her mom and little brother I was automatically paying more attention to what was actually happening in the play. I got the full message pretty much. We left after the second play though so I didn't get to see the last one. I heard it was boring though so I wasn't that upset. On Saturday though I sat with Seth and Andrea's "guy-friend", Chance. Seth and I hadn't seen each other since Friday, that's a long time for us so we were excited to see each other. We did what we usually do when we let our excitement out, we play fight. We act like we're mad at each other when we're obviously not, we playfully punch each other(not abusively at all though), we basically just play around, act goofy and make fun of each other. It doesn't last the whole time we're together though, we get serious and act like civilized people after some time. So, we sat watching the play, waiting for our friends to show up on stage and we'd exchange smiles and silly comments. After the second play ended I told him I was going to get Andrea but he told me he wanted to stay so I said I'd stay with him so he wasn't alone. We sat and talked and waited for Andrea and Chance to come back. When Andrea came back I told her how good she did and she asked me questions, the whole after-performance deal. Then, I was just being silly, not trying to be a crazy girlfriend and I was acting like I was gonna look through Seth's phone and he made a big deal about it so I took it upon myself to look through it. It really stirred up a fight and he was yelling at me, in public! I couldn't believe it, he never yells at me and here he was, the guy I've become so close to who has the biggest heart I could imagine yelling at me in front our friends and people we didn't know. I didn't even know what to say after some time though I managed to croak out "Why are you yelling at me?" I began to tear up and of course he felt bad and he told me he didn't realize he was really yelling. There was really any I'm Sorry's or are you ok now?'s When the third play started I didn't understand anything that was happening and I told him that so he was keeping me updated on what was happening, that's what broke the ice of our some-what argument. I am so thankful that I have someone there for me like that. Someone that doesn't hold a grudge against me and is willing to understand me and take things to heart and not make everything a big deal. I'm a really lucky girl!

Silly games.

I've been sitting on the computer for about 20 minutes and I've already caught onto my brother's trivia game. Cody, 19, Mitchell, 13 and Samuel 11 are taking turns asking the other two questions which they themselves find difficult. Of course I don't understand anything but I still decide to blurt out what I think the answer might be. They ask questions about cartoons they watch, books they read, countries, math problems, themselves, our county, etc. All three of them get on my last nerves, especially when I am trying to have quiet time. They scream about Mitchell liking girls, Samuel biting his gym teacher on the butt, things that wouldn't matter to anyone else. They still tend to argue on until I finally come to out of my room and yell for them to hush. After that, they try to whisper, in a really loud hushed tone. They seriously think they're being quiet though. Even though they annoy me to no end sitting here listening to their nonsense I realize how precious they are and how different I'd be without them. I've grown up with these boys, they defend me and comfort me in times of need and sorrow. I've seem them all at their worse and vise versa, we're still hear for each other. I only hope I can understand their questions soon so I can beat them at trivia games.

11 Pipers Piping.

This morning Samuel's fifth grade chorus had a show on the square of Dahlonega. Melissa, him and I got into our jeep liberty (our only car that's only been in the shop once) and we went to the square. I was feeling as tired as ever but I still wanted to go and see my little brother and his classmates sing cute christmas songs. On the drive there Samuel rambled about how excited he was and how he couldn't sleep last night due to his excitement. He is so cute! When we finally got there Samuel jumped out and Melissa and I went to find somewhere to park. After finding somewhere and walking to the spot where all the little fifth graders and their parents were gathered around I thought "I really hope this doesn't suck". I could tell all the kids were excited. They were all wearing matching shirts, santa hats, reindeer ears, and bells on their wrists. It was all so cute! The first song they did was Twelve Days of Christmas, each kid had their own line. There were 13 kids there total. When it was each kids turn they sung their line and did a cute hand gesture. It came to Samuel and he said in his fast voice "Eleven pipers piping" while he make the movements of a flute with his hands. It was so precious. As I watched these kids sing carol after carol and enjoy themselves to the fullest I realized what a joy singing and being involved with things are. The kids cut up and sang their hearts and jingled their bells. When it was all done I was happy I got out of bed and dressed myself in sweet pants and a sweetshirt to see this show. After it was over Melissa asked Samuel and me if we wanted to go the fudge factory to get some fudge, of course Samuel right away blurted "SURE!" We walked over the store and as we walked in we all got a big whiff of all sorts of sweats. Samuel walked around joyfully trying to decide what he wanted while Melissa and me simply decided we wanted hot chocolate. While we waited we cut up and talked about coming up Christmas Plans and old memories. We entertained the lady working there every so often when we told a funny story. Also while we were waiting I asked Melissa if I could drive home and she told me I could so I immediately couldn't wait to leave. We drove home and Melissa didn't have to help me once, which is good cause usually she has to remind me of things. That was all in about two hours, but it was still a good morning I got to spend with my fabulous step mom and adorable little brother!

Show me love!

For Thanksgiving my family went to my Grandma's house, my dads mom. When it was time for everyone else to go home I got to stay with grandma, along with my little brother, Samuel. Samuel stayed at my Uncle Carl's house though. After everyone left it was pretty quiet at the house, the only noise was Samuel laughing dramatically loud at some silly cartoon on the TV while my two uncles, grandma and I just sat there trying to find conversation. I always knew my dad's side of the family was different from both my moms and step-moms family. My dad's side is small and not as "huggy" as the other sides. My uncles, as well as my dad always hestitate when giving someone a hug and it's always a real quick hug. It's like a pat on the back more. My sweet grandpa always did the same thing, he would say to me "OK Georgey see you soon." and give me a side hug/pat on the back. They have a different way of showing their love I suppose, I never figured out what that way was though until this past weekend I got a good clue. My Uncle Carl took me and Samuel out to the movies and to get pizza then to go hike up Stone Mountain. He even let me drive! He does things like that to show his love not hugs and kisses. Both are nice though! I always feel when I go to give one of my uncles or grandma a hug I'm pushing it on them to hug me or give me love.
I know my family loves me, for a fact. They prove it when they stand back and let me do my own thing, even if that is beating up my brothers. When we were walking up Stone Mountain Samuel was being the biggest pain in the butt, wanting to stop every five minutes. I was a good five minutes ahead of Samuel and Carl too so I'd have to keep stopping to wait on them. Samuel is always the most dramatic about everything and Carl tried to make a joke out of it, I knew better I just went on and left them. I was too the top a good 10 minutes before them. As soon as they got up there Samuel and I started fighting. I can't even remember what about. He eventually ran off and Carl went to find him. On the way down he insisted on going another way after I yelled at him about running off. Carl had to go find him again. I sat and waited on one rock which seemed like eternity before Carl came back with no Samuel. I demanded we go on the same trail as Samuel so we did. Whenever Samuel saw me he took off running and I yelled for him to stop but he didn't so I ran after him. That seems quite aggressive, I know. He cut through woods and ran down steep hills over rocks and I caught up with him thanks to my running skills and I grabbed his arm. We started pitching each other and slapping right there in the middle of a crowd of people walking up and down the mountain. It was so dramatic. Carl finally found us, he was being casual about the whole thing, he didn't say anything except "Ok, come on we're almost there." I was astonished, he just let my brother and me pitch each other till there were bruises. One thing I regret most about that fight I had with my brother though was I told him "Don't be like our mom!". I know that really got him, but he forgave me. When we got back to the house he helped me french braid my hair and I taught him some stuff on the piano and when the day was over he gave me a big hug and said, "I love you, you're the best big sister."

I AM.

All my family and friends seem to know exactly who they are and what they want to make of it. I have friends saying "I'm an artist, I'm going to paint my whole life." or "I'm going to be a famous singer by the time I'm 30." I have my coach, my art teacher, my band instructor, my chorus director and my mom telling me different things. I've heard I'm a runner, I'm a singer, I'm an art girl, I'm a musician, all ties into I'm an artist though, not just in the sense of art though. Running is an art to me, you can't just go out and run for the cross country team. It takes training, work and endurance, it's an art, at least to me it's a part of my art. I play piano, sing and I work with art. I draw, paint, use charcoal, chalk, all that fun stuff; that makes me an artist. Singing, playing the piano and running make me an artist too because no one does it quite like me. No one can sing the exact way as me, no one presses keys of a piano in the same manner as me and no one runs with the same movements as me. It's all just an art. It took me awhile to make this conclusion but I'm at the point where I know I am an artist. Everyone's an artist, the problem is staying one. I'm determined to stay one as long as I'm living.

Halloween!

Today is Halloween and I don't really have anything special planned. Today is a day I go back and think about this day last year. On Halloween last year we had two of the most precious boys ever living with us. We brought them into our home when they were five and seven. They're names are Peniel and Jeremiah, Jeremiah is the younger of the two. They are mixed; black and hispanic. If you didn't get the hint my parents are foster parents. Peniel and Jeremiah are the first kids we took in and they changed our lives forever. They were so exuberant and goofy. Jeremiah always had something to say. He replaced his L's with Y's so he's say something like "I yike the yittle dog!" He said this the first day he came to live with us. We had a great dane at the time.a little beagle-terrior mix and a rotty. Both the little boys ran into our pantry, they were so scared of the dogs barking. My step mom, Melissa got Jeremiah set him on the counter and gave him some treats while he teared up and kept saying "I yike the yittle dog." It took us forever to figure out what he was saying then though. Jeremiah and I were best pals, we listened to music together, took pictures, slept together, played games, wrestled, everything. I didn't eve notice our different skin color. He felt like a blood family member to me. I've never loved a little boy so much in my life.
Peniel on the other hand, he meant more than the world to me. He had to best smile and laugh. He was radiant. He opened up to me unbelievably fast. We bonded together, like me and Jeremiah but in a stronger way. We told each other things and understand. He was only seven but he understood me. I trusted him with anything. He always opened up to me before anyone else. We had a special bond no one could break, even his mom that took him back to live with her. I know if I showed up at his house we'd pick up right where we left off. No one noticed the strong bond I had with this seven year old boy. He was smarter than most kids his age. I'd give anything to see him again.
When Peniel and Jeremiah left our home, all my families hearts broke. We miss them more than we'd ever imagine. We're strong enough to know not to show sorrow in front of the little boys. We all cry though. They changed us for the better.

Here Goes Nothin

I'm only 16 but my mom has a blog and I thought it was really cool. I'm really into writing so I wanted one also! This is my first post so I'm not quite sure what to talk about. I'm having a lazy day due to a late night every day this week. I should be sleeping now but I'm not. Well, I hope when I get into this more everyone enjoys all my stories. :)